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Archive for March, 2011

Risking it All

Me and Allen Smith (Season 8 ) of the Biggest Loser

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go. Joshua 1:9

Have you ever wanted to do something so bad but when the moment of truth came, you became frozen with fear? Don’t worry, it happens to the best of us, yours truly included. There have been plenty of times when I wanted to do something and when the time for action came, I became fearful, insecure, and faded into the background. After the moment passed, I would spend the rest of the day or even days beating myself up over the failure to perform.

But what happens when we win over fear? What happens when we look at our insecurities, our fears, and tell them to their face that they will no longer have control over us? Truth is, Amazing things can happen. Such an event happened this past week.

For those of you who don’t know, I am overweight. I weigh 355 lbs, which is the same weight I have struggled with for over three (3) years. I have been on a roller coaster of sorts; working out, watching diet, injuries, climbing mountains, victories and defeats, successes and failures. Yet through this roller coaster, my weight has remained a constant. Recently I’ve put out several pleas to friends and family to keep me accountable. I’ve looked into alternative methods to eliminate my weight, and have even applied for the Biggest Loser.

I made several videos making my plea for why I would be a great inspiration for America as the next Biggest Loser. ( http://www.youtube.com/user/chumby1977?feature=mhum ). I even attended three open casting calls, two last year (Chicago and NYC) and one this year in Indianapolis.

So what does this all have to do with risk, courage, or even trust in God? How does my adventure come close to Joshua’s? Simple. Risk is not something that comes easily to most of us. To put ourselves out on the rim of the unknown causes most of us to fall back into our comfortable lives and miss out on life.

For me, there was a part of me that wanted to forgo going to the Indiana casting call when I saw the 12 inches of wet snow that blanketed western New York the day we were to leave. I knew the road was going to be a difficult one but something in me said, “be strong and courageous”. When I was standing in line to see the casting directors I was nervous and afraid I was going to make a fool of myself but a voice inside me uttered, “be strong and courageous”. Even when meeting Allen Smith, season 8 contestant, my knees couldn’t help but knock together. Again, a voice within me said, “be strong and courageous”. Whether opening up to my dad, meeting new people, risking vulnerability with my church family, friends, and acquaintances about my struggles with my weight, that still calm voice has repeated time and time again, “be strong and courageous”. Without risk there is no growth, there is no life. I want to live. My goal is to continue living as close to the rim between risk and comfort, enjoying the amazing adventures it allows.

Where are you living your life?

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